Jokes

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? ...He didn't have the guts!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? ...No body!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day? ...Dayscare centers!

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? ...They're too wrapped up in themselves!

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? ... He is mist!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? ...Frostbite!

Where did the goblin throw the football? ...Over the ghoul line!

What would you find on a haunted beach? ...A sand witch!

How does a witch tell time? ...She looks at her witch watch!

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? ...Mas-scare-a!

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? ...An amoeboo!

Who was the most famous French skeleton? ...Napoleon bone-apart!

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? ...Bamboo!

What do witches put on their hair? ...Scare spray!

What do you call an empty hot dog? ...A hollow weenie!

Why do mummies make excellent spies? ...They're good at keeping things under wraps!

Why do dragons sleep during the day? ...So they can fight knights!

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? ...It's a pain in the neck!

What do the birds sing on Halloween? ...Twick or Tweet!

Why do girl ghosts go on diets? ...So they can keep their ghoulish figures!

What's soft, moldy and flies? ...A spoiled bat!

Where does a ghost go on vacation? ...Mali-boo!

What do ghosts serve for dessert? ...I Scream!

What do you call two witches living together? ...Broommates!

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? ...A trombone!

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? ...Because of his coffin!

What kind of streets do zombies like the best? ...Dead ends!

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? ...He didn't have a haunting license!

What kind of dog does a mad scientist have? ...A lab

Where do ghosts go shopping? ...In Boo-tiques!

What's a haunted chicken? ...A poultry-geist!

How does a girl vampire flirt? ...She bats her eyes!

What do skeletons say before they begin dining? ...Bone appetite!

What is a ghost's favorite ice cream flavor? ...Boo-berry!

What does a ghost eat for lunch? ...A Boo-logna sandwich!

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? ...To improve his bite!